Summer Series: Tamar: Chosen, Redeemed and Remembered – Sermon

So, who is this Tamar person? She was the daughter-in-law of Judah: But really, who is she…?

Was she:

• Courageous or condemned?
• Victim or vixen?
• Heroine or hustler?

 In some respects, I think she could be seen as one of the unsung heroes of the OT- she was overlooked and unseen repeatedly, but God choses to weave her into His redemptive story and the Royal line of Royal lines for all of eternity!  Her name is etched in His Holy word!

Genesis 38 is often looked at as an interruption in the story of Joseph because it takes place right in the middle of this well known narrative about the life and times of Joseph.

But truly this placement has a purpose and we end up knowing that Judah has an even bigger purpose when it comes to God’s plans.  We know that he ends up being the chosen one out of all of Jacob’s sons- it will be his line that Jesus would come from.

But, that’s certainly not how this story starts. First Judah needed to be re-directed from his evil ways to allow this all to happen.  Also by putting this story of Tamar and Judah in the midst of the Joseph Story-line we see the contrast of Joseph’s unimpeachable character against Judah’s plain lack of morals and thought for others. One of the outcomes I believe is the intention for this to be seen as a lesson of contrasts.

Think about this for a moment. Judah is the one who gave his brother’s the idea to sell Joseph to the Ishmaelites rather than kill him so they can make some money on the deal!…., then he abandons his family and heads out on his own.  You certainly have to wonder if part of the reason for Judah’s move was his guilt over what he and his brothers had done….possibly?

Almost immediately he marries, a beautiful Canaanite woman and they proceed to have 3 sons. He is obviously driven primarily by his own needs and wants! And so, no wonder his sons aren’t good men.  It says quite specifically that they were “wicked in the Lord’s sight; so, the Lord put them to death.”

From the example that Judah set for them and then living within the Pagan society that they did, it’s no wonder they were a mess! Judah has been paying no attention to the God of his father- Jacob’s God- he completely abandoned the covenant and went his own way!

But then, something else happens. Judah invites Tamar into the family. Tamar would be the one to do this; the unlikely candidate directed and chosen by God to shake Judah up and set him on God’s path instead of his own.

We always need to remember that:

2 Timothy 2:13 – New Living Translation

¹³ If we are unfaithful,
    he remains faithful,
    for he cannot deny who he is.

A most important theme in this story for me is the fact that God can still work through our worst mistakes because He is Faithful!! We can remember our failures and yet still marvel at how God continues to loves us!! Despite his troubling character, God still chooses Judah to carry on His covenant line! Er (IER) and Onan are not meant to be a part of it however and so, God uses a young teenage girl to put it all into action and in turn redeem her too.

The beginning of Tamar’s story moves along quite quickly, or I should say her marriages move quickly.

As we read, Judah and his wife have 3 sons: Er, Onan & Shelah.

When Er was grownup, Judah found him a wife by the name of Tamar.  Er was apparently a very evil man because it didn’t take long for God to decide to remove him.  We never know more than he was wicked in the Eyes of the Lord but obviously that was enough.

It is interesting though that his name in Hebrew was “er.”  Just 2 letters long.  If you reversed those letters to “RE”. This is translated as the word RA for evil, wicked, bad or malignant – Is that a coincidence??

This is where the story starts to get even weirder!

Onan, the next oldest son, was then married to Tamar and was supposed to have a child with Tamar. However, in the ancient near east Jewish culture of that time, this son would actually be recognized as the son of Er, rather than his own. In essence, it was Onan’s job to preserve his brother’s family line.  Onan was having none of that!!  As the second son, he was hoping to now receive Er’s birthright and as long as there was no son of Er’s to take his place, he could make sure this happened.  What we read here is that Onan knew, in verse 9, that the offspring would not be his. He’s calculating how much money he can get from this situation, and he has control of whether or not this happens.

Interestingly the name Onan- means vigorous & selfish.

They really need to start planning their name choices better!

Now, Onan could’ve have turned his father down and refused to marry Tamar. We see a similar thing happen in the story of Ruth where another man had first chance to be her Kinsman Redeemer and Boaz was the second. It makes you wonder though if Onan was trying not to disappoint his father- looking for Judah’s approval- not unlike Judah and his brother’s trying to get more of Jacob’s affection by getting rid of Joseph.

So, here we have Onan, and he could have refused this, but he does not, instead is absolutely reprehensible in the eyes of the Lord. He is willing to use her sexually, and abuse and torment her in the process. Well, the Lord sees this exactly for what it is. Again, we read that this was wicked in the eyes of the Lord and that the Lord put him to death also.

I’m sure Judah is scared at this point and the question is how is his line going to be continued? How will God raise up offspring for Judah if his sons continue to die?

Judah seems blind to his own role in all this – he’s not willing to look at the role He & his sons have played in this mess.  As per men in those times it must be the woman’s fault, so he’s not willing to give Tamar his daughter-in-law to the next man up- Shelah.

Judah marries Tamar to the two oldest sons, and both die! She would carry the weight, stigma and blame for their deaths.  Judah would take no ownership of the evil that was his sons. He would be afraid to allow Tamar to marry his youngest in case he dies too.  So, he banishes her back to the home of her father so she would live in a perpetual state of widowhood and shame even though she was most likely still a young woman, maybe even a teenager, and would have lots of life yet to live.  Judah abandons her the same way he abandoned Joseph & his brothers and Jacob too.

As the story continues,

We see in Gen. 38:12 – Shua – Judah’s wife dies, and Judah grieves.  It’s interesting to note that it never says he grieves for his sons, but he does grieve for his wife. (Finally something worth noting about Judah!)

Tamar sees an opportunity and takes her life back into her own hands! She doesn’t sit and wait for Judah to remember her- He’s not noted for remembering! Her methods might seem questionable, but her motives were just!

In verse 13 we read,

¹³ And when Tamar was told, “Your father-in-law is going up to Timnah to shear his sheep,” 14 she took off her widow’s garments and covered herself with a veil, wrapping herself up, and sat at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the road to Timnah. For she saw that Shelah was grown up, and she had not been given to him in marriage. 

Genesis 38:13-15, ESV.

She sees what’s up, she sees what’s happening, she sees that Judah does not intend to do what he has promised to do. So, she puts into place a plan where she dresses up, takes off her widow’s clothing, and instead dresses up as a prostitute and sits, we read in verse 14, at the entrance to Enaim.

This word ‘Enaim’ is the word in Hebrew for eyes. This is the exact same word that appeared in verses 7 and 10 to talk about Er and Onan being wicked in the eyes of the Lord.

She’s sitting in a place called eyes and in fact she’s at the entrance to the eyes, or the opening of the eyes is a way to translate this, because this is a place where eyes will be opened. Her eyes are opened to her situation, and this is the place where Judah’s eyes will begin to be opened too.

Like clockwork, Judah comes along seeing but not seeing.

¹⁵ When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face. ¹⁶ He turned to her at the roadside and said, “Come now, let me sleep with you,” for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. She said, “What will you give me to sleep with you?”

In verse 15 when Judah saw her, there’s that word again, when Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute. He’s blind to her identity for she had covered her face. Again, in verse 16 we read that he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. He sees but he doesn’t see, he’s blind to the identity of this woman whom he takes for a prostitute. We’re also reading here that he is blind to the moral sin, the moral evil of visiting a prostitute – not so surprising with what we know of Judah’s scruples.

Now here’s another place where we see a direct contrast between the life of Judah and the life of Joseph. In the next chapter, chapter 39, Joseph is going to face his own sexual temptation. The wife of Potiphar is going to come after him again and again and again asking him to lie with her. We will then see not only a parallel, but a contrast. Joseph will every time refuse that request. He will run from sin, whereas Judah here is the one who is initiating the services of this prostitute. He’s set up in some way yes, but he’s the one who initiates the interaction.

So, Judah asks her how he can secure her promises. He promises to give her a young goat, but she asks for a pledge. Judah is so tunnel visioned, to what he wants in that circumstance, that he gives her the kitchen sink! He not only promises a goat, but he is willing to give his signet, his cord, and his staff, all of which were personally identifying.

As one commentator puts it, this would be like giving all your credit cards and your driver’s license to this prostitute in order to secure the immediate use of her services.

He doesn’t know what he is doing, he’s headlonged into his lust and it’s clear though that although he is blind to the evil of this, he nevertheless wants to protect his reputation. He wants to avoid the stigma. When it comes time to pay for what he has used, he sends the goat, but he doesn’t personally make the walk of shame back to this place. He sends his friend, the Adullamite, to deliver the promised goat, back in verse 20.

He goes and looks for her, but of course she’s nowhere to be found because there is no cult prostitute in this area. So he comes back and reports this to Judah and Judah just wants to bury it,

Judah is saying, “let’s just get rid of this. Out of sight, out of mind. I tried but I don’t want to be laughed at in this situation.” His only concern is that he wants to protect his reputation.

So, Tamar is pregnant now. This is significant and very important because a new lineage has been opened for Judah. He is not aware of it yet, but one that will work around the wife who is identified as a Canaanite that Judah married, the children born to Tamar will be Judah’s. Notice nowhere is Tamar ever identified as a Canaanite.

Now theoretically Tamar was engaged to Judah’s son Shelah, so by becoming pregnant from someone other than Shelah, Tamar had committed adultery. The punishment in the Old Testament for adultery was indeed death, but it was death by stoning. It was only the most heinous crimes that would be prosecuted by burning, but that’s immediately where Judah goes even though he is literally guilty of the exact same crime.

When Tamar is coming out on her way to her execution, she sends the signet and the cord and the staff. She asks Judah to identify it and he indeed identifies it; he looks at it and identifies it.

This is Judah’s eye-opening moment; he realizes that he is again guilty for literally the exact same sin and therefore he deserves the same punishment that she is facing.

Judah’s eyes are also opened because he may be realizing that what has happened to him is the exact same thing that he did to his father Jacob. You may remember they took Joseph’s coat, their brother’s coat, and gave it to Jacob and asked Jacob to identify it. Jacob identified it and thought wrongly that Joseph his son had had died. The same word for identified is repeated twice in chapter 37. Also, don’t forget that the brothers had used the blood of a goat to deceive Jacob, whereas Tamar’s purchase price also involved the promise of a goat.

Tamar might seem tenacious but a women’s worth in that day was completely wrapped up in their ability to have a family and Judah had stolen this from her.  In that time this was also important because she would need people to care for her later in her life!

But God has a bigger plan in all this drama. The outcome now is that God established a way that the descendants are now a direct line from Judah too! The Messiah did come from Judah’s line. And rather than coming from Shelah, the son who is in the ancestry of Jesus is Perez. God used an act of great immorality and sin and turned it into a tremendous blessing.

Folks don’t let this truth pass you by – No matter where you are in life or how badly you have messed up, remember that the story doesn’t have to be over. God can still bring good things from a bad situation.

At the end of this account, Tamar gives birth to twin sons, Perez and Zerah. Though Zerah was identified as the firstborn, Perez ended up coming out first. Perez becomes the child through whom the greatest blessing is given, which continues the theme of the younger son getting the greater blessing in Genesis.

What is most telling about this passage is what we find out later in Genesis, when Jacob is on his death bed. Judah is given the greatest blessing of Jacob’s sons (with Jacob even prophesying that the Messiah would come from Judah’s line), even though Judah was the 4th oldest child. Simeon, Levi, and Reuben (the three oldest) had all disqualified themselves, leaving Jacob to bless Judah instead. Like his brothers, Judah had sinned greatly, but unlike his brothers, he repented of his sin – and this is key…. Judah allowed God to begin changing him. This is a powerful reminder that our past sin does not necessarily mean God cannot use us. Often those times of sin and failure become the catalysts God uses to bring about genuine change in our lives, and God’s wonderful grace makes it possible for us to be used by Him in great ways.

So you see, this account that seemed so irrelevant and distant is for each of us, intensely personal. You might even say it was written and placed in the Bible to give you and I hope. All is not lost. You can start fresh. He can take the broken pieces of your life and form them into something far better than the life you had before.

Remember this, Matthew 1vs 3 – Tamar is mentioned BY NAME. If you keep reading in that chapter, out of 14 generations of men, only four women are mentioned – and all 4 of them have equally questionable histories.  Rahab, Ruth. That ’wife of Uriah’ who was Bathsheba – and you may recall how David murdered her husband to have sex with her.

And yet, even despite this, Jesus, in his sovereignty, CHOOSES to call each of these women his mother. Believe me when I say that God had a pretty good idea of who was going to beget whom.

As a Christian, you can see God’s exposed heart – His motive is completely selfless. Even though, over and over again, we stumble under the burden of sin we know this truth:

“He humbled himself and became obedient – completely obedient even to death on a cross.”

God, through people like Tamar and Judah, culminating in His own Son, didn’t and doesn’t withhold anything from His people.

The exchange that God makes for us is almost unfathomable – “while we still were sinners Christ died for us. ”

Once upon a time, there was a young girl who within the bounds of God’s sovereignty made bold choices that would forever alter the trajectory of History… Her name is Tamar!

This is no fairy tale . . . it is the good news of the gospel.

Let’s Pray.