Blessed Assurance – Who You Were Made to Be – Pastors Marlee and Dave Page

Many of us heard the saying – “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. And yet, we can be honest with one another and admit that yes, words really do hurt sometimes. It is interesting to me that as Paul turns his mind toward the practical outworking of the Christian life, toward the practical outworking of the doctrinal truths that Paul has been teaching throughout the early portions of this letter, that so much of his focus is on speech.

Paul starts off “you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully”, literally again take off, as in taking off a garment, lying but speak the truth to one another.

This concept isn’t all that hard for most people to agree with. Of course, we shouldn’t be lying to one another. There are lots of warnings in Scripture regarding the penalties and dangers of lying.

Exodus 20:16 NIV

You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.

Moses warned the Israelites as a part of the ten commandments not to lie or give false testimony against one another. At the close of the Bible the Lord establishes the fate of those characterized by habitual lying

Revelation 21:8 NIV

But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”

Charles Spurgeon used this example for the power of a lie

“It is a great deal easier to set a story afloat than to stop it. If you want truth to go around the world you must hire an express train to pull it; but if you want a lie to go around the world, it will fly. It is as light as a feather, and a breath will carry it. It is well said in the old proverb, “A lie will go around the world while truth is pulling its boots on.””

Now before any of you think I am accusing you of being liars, we need to recognize that there is both explicit lying – outright telling a lie – but likely what is much  more common is implicit lying. Where we maybe don’t tell the whole truth or we keep something back.

Let me give you an example:

How many of you (and don’t raise your hand if this is you) answered the question this morning “how are you doing” with fine. I’m fine – fine, when you know very well that you are anything but fine today?

What a change would take place in our lives, in our church body even, if we were actually honest with one another about how we are really doing.

Instead, we say we’re fine when we really aren’t fine.

How about this question – how many of you know that you are stagnant in your Spiritual growth, but you aren’t willing to do anything about it?

Ooooh watch it Pastor…. How about engaging with your church? – and I get that the Church, our Church and many other Churches, have been closed in various aspects because of the pandemic but that time appears to be coming to an end.  If we’re committed to one another and to seeing the church grow to maturity, to really answer our call to make disciples, then you know the surprise should be that we are missing on a Sunday morning not that we are present.

Now I’m not trying to be legalistic with this saying that you can’t be saved unless you are at FBK in person or online at 11:00 for service or in a Bible study through the week. But a question that should be asked is if you don’t desire to grow or progress in your walk with Jesus and you don’t deeply desire to be in fellowship and corporate worship with other believers – then what is your plan for growth?

The point is this – we need to stop lying to one another. And of course, we are to challenge one another, gently – probably MORE gently than this is coming across – and in love but we should be open to challenge one another none the less. When we know that there is something to be said and we fail to say it we implicitly lie to one another.

We cannot build one another up, we cannot pray for one another, and we cannot see mature growth happen unless we are able to be honest with one another.

Maybe anticipating the reaction of his readers Paul offers this next encouragement – Be angry and do not sin.

Paul writes

In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

Is Paul legitimizing anger here – saying that it is possible to be angry without being in sin. Would that not contradict what Jesus taught in the Sermon on the Mount if that were the case?

Paul’s point here is that the only legitimate expression of anger is righteous anger. Therein lies the rub however.…

Have you ever heard the saying that:

‘There was never an angry man that thought his anger unjust.’

Paul is quoting from Psalm 4 here.

Answer me when I call to you,
    my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress;
    have mercy on me and hear my prayer.

² How long will you people turn my glory into shame?
    How long will you love delusions and seek false gods?

³ Know that the Lord has set apart his faithful servant for himself;
    the Lord hears when I call to him.

⁴ Tremble and do not sin;
    when you are on your beds,
    search your hearts and be silent.

⁵ Offer the sacrifices of the righteous
    and trust in the Lord.

⁶ Many, Lord, are asking, “Who will bring us prosperity?”
    Let the light of your face shine on us.

⁷ Fill my heart with joy
    when their grain and new wine abound.

⁸ In peace I will lie down and sleep,
    for you alone, Lord,
    make me dwell in safety.

Psalm 4 was written by David and this phrase that Paul is quoting from is a reminder to himself that the Lord is faithful and will hear him when he calls. So instead of being sinfully angry he should reflect on the goodness and faithfulness of God.

There is never a time when we are angry that we don’t think that we’re justified in our anger. That would be the thrust of what David writes in Psalm 4 as well. Earlier in verse 2 he is lamenting that his honour has been insulted and that he is being slandered.

In truth there is only one man who was ever so innocent as to say that he could be righteously angry at the treatment that He received and yet His request was for the forgiveness of those who were crucifying Him.

But that doesn’t mean that Jesus was never angry and in that we find our example of how to be angry without sinning.

Jesus was angry at the hardness of the Pharisees hearts toward a man who was afflicted with a shrivelled hand in Mark 3, He was angry at the money changers and animal merchants who turned the temple into the Shopping Mall of Annas rather than the house of prayer that it was meant to be.

And so there are times when we should be angry.  We should be angry at those who seek to distort the Word of God through culture-centred doctrine rather than the truth of His Word.  We should be angry when we see the brutality of a ruthless dictator bombing innocent people waiting in a line for food. But we mustn’t sin in that anger – and listen to me – I know sometimes that anger for us can seem so real and so powerful…and so justified – righteous. Yet the challenge is to be angry at what is happening without spiralling down into sin. Paul gives this helpful caution to the church in Rome as they struggled with this.

Romans 12: 17-21 NIV

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Oh wow that’s hard isn’t it – I know it is. We must remember that at the end of the day that God wins and His vengeance is the only vengeance that really counts. That’s probably not what Paul has in mind when he says don’t let the sun go down on your anger – but it is the attitude and mindset which will prevent us from focusing on our anger and allowing Satan a foothold in our hearts.

The Greek word for anger, to be angry is ‘orgizio’…in that meaning, (anger) is not momentary outward, boiling-over rage or inward, seething resentment, but rather a deep-seated, determined and settled conviction.

Do you know how anger becomes a deep seated conviction like this meaning….it’s by continual reflection on that situation which makes us angry. Notice what David writes about his own condition in Psalm 4 and let it remind us how to combat this condition within our own hearts.

Psalm 4:3-4 NIV

Know that the Lord has set apart his faithful servant for himself;
    the Lord hears when I call to him.

Tremble and do not sin;
    when you are on your beds,
    search your hearts and be silent.

I had lunch with a young man on Tuesday and we talked about this very thing.  Most often when we are angry with someone and allow it to become this deep seated conviction it creates a tremendous burden for who ??? US!!!

Most often it’s not the person we’re angry at – half the time they’ve gone on about their day and we’re the ones still dealing with the anger, not them. Paul shares with us the futility of that – both he and David are saying that our reflection should be on the faithfulness of God and know that the same faithfulness that guarantees our good also guarantees that the wicked will be treated appropriately in God’s good timing.

This next statement from Paul is rather interesting not for the command itself because much like lying the command not to be a thief is pretty agreeable to us. At least on the surface. Many of us would again readily agree with the seventh commandment.

Exodus 20:15 NIV

You shall not steal.

We all agree in principle but how many of us may be guilty of breaking this in practice? When we are on social media during work are we not stealing time from our employer? If you stand around a few minutes longer so you can clock out a few minutes later are we not stealing?

Instead of theft Paul tells the Ephesians to be about good honest labor – something that is almost looked down upon in our current society.

We are in the midst of the great resignation. People are resigning from their jobs because they have found it more profitable to live on the handouts of the government than to actually go to work. Do you want to know where I stand on that issue – If you’re an able bodied person and you are choosing not to work then you are stealing from the government and all of us – you need to get a real job.

The real interesting thing that Paul hits on here – and the one that I think probably hits home the most in a congregation like ours is the intended result of our labour – what we earn.

We live in a society that is deeply concerned with the future and the prospect of retirement. The question that is most often asked financial advisors – – is how much can you help me save for retirement. How much of a nest egg can you help me put away. But this is not to be the attitude of a Jesus follower – look at what Paul writes here. “that they may have something to share with those in need”

Now I don’t think this means that you should work to pay your bills and then keep the rest in your pocket to hand out to any panhandler that you see on any corner. Stewardship also involves preparing for our own future, smartly…. But what I do believe this means is that we should be generous with our resources when we know there are those, especially within the body of Christ, who have a need.

The early church modelled this. In Acts 4 there is a passage regarding the care that the believers demonstrated for each other.

Acts 4:34-35 NIV

that there were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need.

Now again, we are called to be good stewards of God’s resources and I don’t think this means that they all sold their houses and lived on the street. What it means is that when someone had a need they were so devoted to God and saw all that they had as being His that they were willing to do whatever was necessary to care for a brother or sister in need.

Church, what if we viewed our finances the same way. The truth here is that If we don’t have finances to spare – how can we be generous. This doesn’t always have to be about money only- we have lots of resources to steward. What if we viewed our time that way. What a change would be seen amongst us if we structured our lives around opportunities for ministry instead of structuring our lives around making enough money to retire.

If we were to put off just these three things – lying (whether explicit or implicit), controlling anger and theft (or even the selfish hoarding of our resources rather than generosity) what a change we would see within our lives, our Church and our Community.

Now look what Paul says in vs. 30

“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.”

The average Christian, particularly in the western Church – though it feels to me like this is starting to shift  – the average Christian in the western Church has a theological “black hole” in his or her doctrine of God when it comes to the subject of the Holy Spirit. Many regard the Holy Spirit as a mysterious manifestation of God, or as a spiritual emanation or divine influence. One of the clear proofs of this is verse 30 of our text:

“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.”

The root idea of the word “grieve” is “to cause pain,” and the fact that the Holy Spirit can experience pain and sorrow and personal distress argues for his personal nature yet often we don’t associate those types of characteristics with the Holy Spirit

Here me now ok – Understanding that the Holy Spirit is a Person who experiences joy and grief through the lives of those He indwells makes possible real spiritual growth, for two reasons:

First, because we are able to better see how much we are loved. As we grieve over the failures of those we love, so does the Holy Spirit over us.

Spurgeon said,

“For it is an inexpressibly delightful thought, that He who rules heaven and earth, and is the creator of all things, and the infinite and ever blessed God, condescends to enter into such infinite relationships with his people that his divine mind may be affected by their actions.”

God’s great love for us – through the Holy Spirit – His great love for us makes possible his grief.

Second, we are motivated to holiness. Think about this – I bet this applies to just about every one of you on one level or another – How many sons and daughters have drawn back from sin at the thought of the pain it would bring their parents, that same effect is very real for those who fully understand that their sin – their choice of sin as Pastor Marlee talked about last week will hurt the Holy Spirit.

None of us who are truly Christian wants to grieve the Holy Spirit. His loving ministry draws our hearts to him, especially when we think of what he has done.

He baptized us into the Body of Christ at the moment of our salvation (1 Corinthians 12:13).

It was then that he also sealed us, declaring us to be his possession (1:13; 4:30).

He has also indwelt us, just as God promised to Ezekiel:

“And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws”

— Ezekiel 36:27

Yet we really struggle with this – in our data driven, fact based, silicon culture this mystery appears to be the thing we just can’t seem to follow…. even though Jesus said in John 14:16,

“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever — the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.

What a wondrous truth this is. He comes to us in the brokenness of our sinful lives, he indwells us….The spirit takes up residence within us…not just indwelling us but teaching us:

John 16:12, 13,

“I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth.”

And praying to the father on our behalf.

“We do not know what we ought to pray, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will”

— Romans 8:26, 27

In realizing of all of this (that he baptized us, sealed us, teaches us, and prays for us), it is inconceivable that any true believer would want to grieve the Holy Spirit. But the daily truth is that many Christians constantly grieve the Holy Spirit with their lives — How can we lead lives which bring a smile to the Person of the Holy Spirit instead of the frown of grief? Paul adds these final things to our list:

Verse 29 reveals the Holy Spirit’s concern that our speech be constructive:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

 ” (v. 29). – we’re back to our words again….

The language Paul uses is very descriptive. “[U]nwholesome talk” literally means “rotten, putrid or filthy.” This includes obscene language, but the emphasis is on decay-spreading conversation which runs others down and delights in their weaknesses. That kind of talk must not be part of the believer’s life.

St. Augustine, in recognition of this principle, hung this motto on his dining room wall: “He who speaks evil of an absent man or woman is not welcome at this table.”

Finally, look how Paul concludes that we are to

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you”

— Ephesians 4:32.

This year certainly has revealed the worst sides of people. From social media to in-person, people have been unkind, unloving, and uncompassionate to one another.

In a world that promotes revenge over reconciliation, personal gain over kindness, and apathy over compassion, we may wonder how in the world we can emulate Ephesians 4:32 “be kind and compassionate to one another” in an ever-growing hostile environment.

Our culture sees kindness as a weakness. God’s Word says the opposite. – over and over again, it says the opposite

But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.

— Luke 6:35

Kindness and compassion involves loving everyone, not just those who treat us well. And not just those who are easy to love. After all, God shows kindness to everyone, even those whom we believe don’t deserve it.

Christian means “little Christ.” In everything we do, we want to emulate Jesus’s example. And as we move further on our journey, we want to look more like our Savior every day. In doing so, we need to show kindness and compassion. Remember, Judas ate too. Jesus washed his feet during the Last Supper, even though he knew how Judas had already betrayed him and how he would betray him later on.

If Christ can wash Judas’ feet, we can show kindness to everyone, even our enemies.

Following Jesus calls us to make difficult choices: from putting off the old life every day to embodying the Christ like attributes kindness, compassion, and forgiveness. That sound’s easy on paper or coming out of your YouTube feed. Living out these concepts, however, is not easy. I know that it’s not easy, for me either but it’s what God through our relationship with Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit calls us to and equips us for. Because of Jesus’s example of humility, and the lovingkindness he has shown us, he has given us a mission and a mindset that often runs counter-culture. That’s the truth.

Nevertheless, when we choose kindness and forgiveness, we allow others to experience the grace of God—and we spur other believers to do the same. People are watching you!

LET US  GO TO HIM AND PRAY….